The good old gut feeling, some of us use it as our rock-solid navigation system in life. We go with our intuition because our intuition or gut feeling cannot be wrong, right? People go with their gut feeling in so many different areas of their life without even questioning it. They claim that their gut feeling is leading them in the right direction. However, gut feeling is not something that naturally comes it is something you learn over time, and if you are unlucky, this gut feeling can become a wrong and toxic advisor.
When could your gut feeling actually be wrong?
Transfering your negative emotions onto someone else
Your gut feeling is off because you transfer your negative emotions onto someone else. When we feel insecure or if a person reminds us of a negative person in our life we might assume that this is an indication that they must be evil or negative people. If we are not aware of our insecurities or short-comings, we might project them onto other people.
Fear
You are about to step out of your comfort-zone and want learn or do something totally new and you back out of it. You claim that your gut feeling kicked in, but you misinterpreted your fear.
I once had a friend of mine who canceled their flight because of their gut feeling that something bad would happen. You guessed right; nothing happened to the plane. My friend claimed that their fear was actually a gut feeling. In that scenario, it was apparent that the gut feeling was way off. However, how many of us let opportunities go because of our fear of the unknown? We might not open doors to new jobs, relationships, vacations or circle of friends because we misinterpret fear as a gut-feeling. It is almost like our survival instinct has gone crazy.
We are dismissing facts
We applied for a job or met a new person, and our gut feeling is telling us that it all was meant to be. But what we did is ignoring undeniable warning signs.
Do you know that in the early stages of dating a narcissist that they actually will claim that you are their perfect match? They explain that it was fate that they met you. They treat you very well at the beginning and will move everything forward very very quickly.
Or the job application you went for, the wages are very low, and they have high staff turnover, but you feel it is the perfect job for you because the company looks good and you are happy to find finally someone who hires you. In situations like this, we might actually dismiss facts, and we do the opposite we are anything but listening to our gut feeling. When we yearn for romantic love or a specific outcome of a situation or acceptance from others our gut feeling very likely will be wrong.
How can I be sure that my gut feeling is not off?
Improve your self-awareness, self-love, and self-worth. When we know what our strengths and weaknesses are then we are more likely to have a far better gut feeling. Also, make sure that you do not attach your self-worth to other people. Your self-worth should be not depending on what other people think or make of you. Self-love is also an acceptance of who you are. People who love themselves are at peace with their past; they know that everyone in this world makes mistakes.
Practice being okay with who you are and where you are at this present moment in life. Own your feelings, never make someone else responsible for how you feel. I know people can say nasty things to us which can hurt us. However, they only hurt us if we believe that those things might be true or when we attach our self-love or self-worth to the opinion of others.
If you mastered this, then you should be okay. Apart from that, you cannot be sure that your gut feeling is ALWAYS right. Because you know at the end of the day, we all are human beings, we all make mistakes, and we all misjudge situations or people.
Related Article: Love Also Means You Can Say NO
How to Find Yourself After A Narcissistic Relationship
Article Credit:
Article written by Jennifer White of Strong Heart Awakening. Jennifer White Ad. Dip. Psych. is a global human potential thought leader, blogger, Psychological Therapist with CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) skills, Life Coach and Public and Motivational Speaker. Jennifer White has experience in counseling and coaching people with substance misuse, anxiety and depression. She is currently working as a self-employed Psychological Therapist and Life Coach in her practice, helping people reaching their real potential. Jenny holds public and motivational speeches and shared her ideas with other speakers on the stage of the Celebrate Your Life event in Arizona 2016. She runs successfully her self-development and self-help groups on- and offline.
©Love Wide Open
awesome and unique article indeed. most i hv read are about willy nilly trusting your gut feeling but i like the facts u hv highlighted here. I tend to be scared to get into relationships and a s result hv let a lot of good women pass by bcoz my gut feeling supposedly told me they werent good enough. But now being a person who is scrupulous and fearful in general i am now looking in retrospect at my past and discovering that the most awesome and fruitful adventures I ever experienced where as a result of going against my gut feeling which frankly was just a fear of the unknown. Thanks for this article
Thank you so much for writing in. We appreciate your r=perspective. Fear can really get the best of us sometimes.