Things That Hurt the Most Teach the Greatest Lessons


Our pain can be our greatest teacher. It leads us to places we’d never go on our own.

~Debbie Ford

Have you ever heard the expression, “pain is the greatest teacher”? There’s a reason that expression exists: because it’s TRUE! Out of ashes comes the Phoenix. From darkness springs light. Are you in a moment of darkness? Have you experienced recent pain that has engulfed your being or feels like it’s paralyzed your spirit? Are you struck by grief and sadness?  These are all things that lead us to our greatest lessons. 


If your life is in shambles or you are stuck in darkness, fear not. For many, being lost often brings them to unexpected paths of healing and love.


Here are some of the greatest lessons.


Allow yourself to grieve and don’t hide from the pain

Allow yourself to grieve, or feel sad, or feel however you think you shouldn’t. Having emotions is part of what makes us human. Sometimes we need a little sadness and depression in order to heal from these emotions. We must feel the pain because the pain is what gives us the strength to heal. In other words, it is the process of healing that is so painful.


Never regret a situation, even when the lesson was painful

Most people are not lucky enough to escape the emotion of regret. Looking back on a time or situation and realizing it could have unfolded differently if you had done XYZ instead of ABC and being overcome with remorse, as a result, isn’t a fun situation to be in and, in fact, is quite painful. If you feel this way and you overcome your feelings of remorse or if you feel it through and become a better person because of it, then the process is a necessary step towards personal growth. If you don’t overcome it and become a better person because of it, if you ignore the pain and let it live inside you, eventually you will become an unhappy person because you would be allowing the pain to control you while thinking you were controlling it. That is the start of a dangerous cycle. If you think the problem doesn’t exist, then there is no way to fix it.  This brings us to our next category.


Let go of control and accept that pain is out of your control

Many people believe that we control pain, but that’s not necessarily the case. We control ourselves, our own bodies, and how we react to pain, but pain itself is something that is controlled by external forces. We cannot control whether we lose a loved one or if spouse cheats or whatever else life might throw at us.  Emotions come and go and although we control how we respond to them and how we chose to take them in, they are there. When we stop trying to control the uncontrollable and focus on controlling ourselves, we become stronger wiser and better people. If we allow ourselves to become frustrated by that which we cannot control then we will create spiritual roadblocks that will prevent us from healing. The sooner we accept the fact that the pain is out of control, the sooner we can envelop our life lessons, especially the most painful, the sooner we find our way to brighter places in life.


When the clouds open and the sun shines, what moments ago was a dark and cold place becomes warm and beautiful again. You don’t forget that something happened, you become more because something did happen. It is all part of the process of opening your heart space. Remember, there is always love. Even when you are alone. When you are covered by clouds, the sun is still there even though you can’t see it or feel it. Even when you are cold and alone, even in the most painful moments of darkness, love is with you; you just might not know it yet.

Related Articles: 3 Types of People that Cause You Pain and How to Find the Good As a Result

Five Signs that You Are Giving Too Much of Yourself to Others

Toxic Thinking and How to Let it Go

© Love Wide Open

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