Working with a narcissist can be professionally debilitating, especially when that person is in a position of power. A narcissistic boss with the ability to ruin your career can be extremely destructive to both your professional career and the personal life.
First off, finding a narcissistic person in a place of power is one of the most likely places to find such a personality. For one, they tend to be ambitious people who are willing to manipulate to get to the top.
Unfortunately, working with a person with NPD can be difficult, especially to those who are empathetic and eager to please. When a narcissistic person feel you are a threat to their position in any way, even if you are not but they perceive you that way, they will tear you down until you don’t even know who you are anymore.
Rest assured, you are not powerless and it’s not the time to quit your job or career over it quite yet.
Consider the following advice to help you work smarter with a narcissistic boss or co-worker.
Avoid Emotionally Reacting
As soon as you emotionally react to a Narcissist then you have relinquished all of your power to them. Because the Narcissistic person controls through emotional manipulation, by reacting and revealing your emotional state to them, you are pretty much throwing the dog the bone and giving it permission to snack.
Learn to Let it Go FAST
For the same reason as above, the best way to not allow a Narcissist to control and manipulate emotionally is to learn to let go of your own emotions faster than they are able to take control over them. A Narcissist, especially when their job is on the line, is fast and smart. The best way to protect yourself against the emotional abuse is to always be one step ahead. You must see it happen before it happens and let go of those emotions before the Narcissist latches on to them.
Don’t Dwell In Their Realm
This can be tougher than you might think because the Narcissistic person is often very smart and charming. They are also quite often great at their jobs and they come filled with songs of promise. You might tell yourself things like, if I could just learn from this person, etc. well guess what? We are here to tell you that you can learn from someone else just as smart that doesn’t have the appetite for control and that won’t destroy your core being as a result. The point is, the narcissist will do everything in their power to suck you into their world. They will make you believe that they are fun, glamorous and special. Don’t be fooled into opening yourself up to attack. They only want what’s best for them at the end of the day. A true narcissist cannot really care about you even though they are amazing at making you think that they do.
Disconnect As Much As Possible
That brings us to the next category, which is to disconnect as much as possible from the Narcissist. The Narcissist knows no boundaries and if you do not disconnect from them and build up boundaries, they will attack all aspects of your life, including your personal relationships. So disconnect. You don’t have to jump every time they tell you to even though they are really good at making you feel like you do.
Avoid Fueling the Fire
Be wary of encouraging any narcissist or positioning them into a place of power beyond what they have over you professionally. They will become addicted to this behavior and will be drawn to you like moths to a flame. Don’t encourage them more than need be. In the end, it only makes their ego bigger. The bigger the ego, the greater the appetite.
Having a narcissistic boss is not an easy situation and it should be taken in stride. This is likely to be the toughest person you will ever encounter and they won’t think twice about destroying you in order to get what they want, so beware. For most of us, quitting is not an option, so the best thing you can do is to keep your distance, stay one step ahead and never let them get hold of your emotions.
©Love Wide Open