In the last blog, we discussed how to detect if you are a victim of abuse by a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). In this article, we will explore how you can break free from a narcissistic person and come out on the other side as a whole person.
One thing to keep in mind is that a narcissist is attracted to people who are lacking self-confidence. People who have tendencies to blame themselves, who have bad self-talk. Those are the easy people to prey upon because they are more likely to fall into a relationship of codependency. They are more likely to believe the lies the Narcissist tells them.
The question is, how do you break free from the detrimental clutches of this very unhealthy relationship?
1. Get in touch with your own desires
Although you may not be in touch with your inner desires, you can bet on the fact that the Narcissist in your life is. If you are ready to break free from this person, you must first learn the things about yourself that they know, thereby stripping them of the power they hold on you. Take back your emotions, but don’t let them know until it’s time to make the break.
2. Realize you don’t need anyone else in order to be happy or successful
Sometimes the Narcissist is a person of power and success whereby we and many others look up to them and even admire them. Success and happiness is something that comes from within, not from other people, especially not from other people with NPD. Think about this: how happy do you think that person is if they must destroy others in order to get what they want or even have a perception of happiness? They are not happy at all. In fact, they are deeply conflicted and confused people who have been destroyed by a deeply rooted disorder that they probably lost control of years before. Once you realize they are actually far from this place of power and that you do not need them, you have broken the spell and are thus able to break free.
3. What are you running away from?
We have holes of weakness like a tare in a piece of fabric. It is the Narcissist who will find this tare and then rip it open. You must discover your tares before they do… or at least discover where they originated so you can sew a stronger foundation. Fear is a mind killer. Be honest with yourself about your deepest fears and understand how they became tied up in this unhealthy situation, to begin with. Ask yourself:
Are you afraid of intimacy?
Do you feel extreme guilt about something and believe you deserve to be punished?
Do you believe you don’t deserve love?
Do you think you’re not good enough?
Not smart enough?
Whatever it is that you fear is what is keeping you attached to the narcissist. So, figure it out and work on rebuilding that part of yourself. When you build up the strength, you will be able to break free. When you truly learn to love yourself, you will find your freedom.
©Love Wide Open