5 Steps to Transcend Hurtful Gossip
Gossip is hurtful, especially when you know there are other people talking about you. Of course, we all have an innate desire to fit in. Sometimes certain people are targeted by one or multiple people and there is no clear reason why. This is especially hurtful when it’s a close friend initiating the gossip and is a frequent occurrence in the workplace.
Although you can’t change the behaviors of other people, there are a few things you can do to create a mode of thinking that transcends the painful words being spoken by others about you.
Realize that the problem is not with you.
Here’s what you need to know. You do not need to change who you are. It won’t make a lick of a difference. Embrace who you are and accept YOU, but also accept the fact that not everyone is going to like you all the time. That’s how gossip works. You don’t really have to do anything wrong in order to become a victim of it.
It’s the nature of people to gossip. To them, it may mean nothing. A simple pastime that got out of hand. Don’t hold it too personally. Forgive them and move on to a better mental space. Rise above the gossip. It’s difficult, but You can do it!
Confront them head-on.
There is no reason why you shouldn’t try and resolve their issues, whatever those may be. Let them know in a nice way that you know about the gossip and that it’s hurtful to you.
Do not participate in gossip.
If you can’t take it, don’t dish it out. That said, it can be really awkward when other people try to gossip with you. You might almost feel like you’re being pushed up against a wall and forced to participate. Remember this when the roles are reversed and you’re in the forgiving stage mentioned in pointer 2.
Focus on a solution.
Focusing on a solution rather than the problem itself is a healthy way to manage gossip. Being upset and allowing yourself to be brought down by the situation is only going to make you feel worse. Instead, focus on how you can change the situation. Get creative, but take measures to find a solution instead of wallowing in self-pity.
There are some very interesting studies about gossip out there and the damaging effects that it can have on people. Gossip is hurtful, but it’s something we all go through at some point or another. The secret is to not allow it to affect you too much. Stay away from it, don’t participate. Try only to say nice things about people all the time. If you can do that then people are less inclined to say anything bad about you. What goes around comes around, so keep that in mind too. Bottom line is, it’s not just about stopping the gossip or dealing with it, it’s about how to become a better person and teach others to do the same.
Good luck on your journey to a better more loving YOU!
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