Is Jealousy Killing Your Relationship?

Is jealousy killing your relationship? Beyond the shadow of a doubt, jealousy can kill a relationship faster than you can imagine. There is no place for jealousy and love. Although, it is natural to feel jealous from time to time, if your feelings of jealousy are overtaking your relationship, then it’s time to take a good look in the mirror.


The truth about relationships is that they are a lot of work, self-work and work together. If you are feeling overly jealous, it’s time to do some self-work or else the jealousy takes over and kills the relationship completely.


The first thing to do is ask yourself, “why are you jealous”? Are you insecure? Has your partner done things in the past to have made you feel that way? Perhaps yes or perhaps you are projecting former hurts onto them, which is not fair. Do you struggle with emotions of needing to be in control of your partner? Perhaps you are unhappy with a piece of yourself and afraid your partner will feel the same way? Whatever it is, it’s time to take a look at yourself and your wellness and decide what the real cause of your jealous behavior is. Once you’ve completed that step the real change begins.


Accept the emotions, but be strong enough to change the behavior

Feelings of jealousy, strong are they are, do not have to dictate our behavior. It may be hard at first not to react to the strong emotion of jealousy, but like anything else, practice makes perfect. It’s a muscle that needs to be worked out and like lifting weights it gets easier every time you do it and eventually your behaviors of jealousy within your relationships will begin to fade away. When you learn how not to give them a place to fester and grow, you will be amazed at how weak it becomes within you. This is a choice you must make and it takes work, but it can be done.


Consider the worst case scenario

This one seems a bit counterintuitive, however, it works. Jealousy often stems from a fear of loss. When you consider the worst case scenario in detail, you might realize the situation is less dramatic than it originally appeared. Because jealousy has a way of getting into our thoughts and making things seem like a bigger deal than they are. What’s the worst thing that could happen? Your partner cheats on you? You lose your relationship? How likely is that really? If this happens and your spouse chooses another person over you, would you still want to be with your partner? Wouldn’t you rather know now if your partner is not a trustworthy person? The worst-case scenario is that you find out something very painful, but it saved you a lot of wasted time in the future. This attitude can be liberating.


Find something in your world that supersedes the jealousy

Even if this has nothing to do with your partner at all, find the thing in your life that is more important to you than anything else and when jealous feelings arise, think about that instead. This is a great technique to leave the jealousy behind and embrace what’s really important even if that something has nothing to do with your partner at all. Because jealous emotions tend to be petty and based on your own insecurity, when you think about the things that are present, real, close to heart, and enlightening, the jealousy fades. This is a great technique to leave the jealousy behind and embrace what really matters.


To have a jealous partner, especially when there is no real reason for it besides their own insecurities, can be extremely frustrating and can prevent you both from living a healthy happy existence. Don’t let this monster get in the way of your love. Love is too important. Your heart space is not meant to be held by feelings of jealousy and insecurity. Trust us when we say, with a little bit of work, dedication and patience,  this can be transcended.

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©Love Wide Open

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