If you’re a complex person, and you are pushing your significant other away due to emotional trauma, here’s what you need to do to ensure you won’t push away the love of your life.
I am sure you all have heard the saying before that knowing you have a problem is the first step to fixing it. When we push away the people we love, we are rejecting love. A life lacking love may be safe from hurt, but it is also a very lonely existence.
If you are pushing the ones you love the most away, it’s time to put that behavior at bay. It takes practice and desire to change but it’s possible. And I promise you won’t regret it. Here are a few ideas to put you into a self-inspired direction of emotional healing that eventually will lead to a place where you will again be able to accept love into your life.
How to Stop Pushing Away The People You Love
Figure out why you push people away. This may sound obvious and it could take a lot of hard work. In the end, it’s worth the pain. Often times we push people away because we are afraid or angry at the world. Sometimes we feel like we don’t deserve love or we let our minds run away with negative feelings or ideas. Once you pinpoint exactly why you are pushing people away(you may need the help of a counselor), then you can begin to detect the behavior before it starts by being more mindful of your emotions and control the behavior that otherwise would surface as a result.
Realize when you are putting too much pressure on your loved one to make you happy when you should be spending your time trying to make yourself happy. So often we look to another person to make us happy, but that isn’t really fair because when we still find ourselves unhappy, we tend to push the blame on them when really the only person to blame is oneself. It is not the job of your significant other to fix you, you must do that for yourself. When you put this kind of pressure and blame on someone, you not only push them away, but you are also refusing to do what needs to be done to change you for you.
Don’t beat yourself up if your behavior subconsciously surfaces. If your behavior resurfaces and you find that you have once again pushed away from the people you love, take the opportunity to learn from the experience and discover how you can better prevent the behavior next time. Try not to be dragged down by the mistake, it will only make you feel worse in the long run. Instead, apologize to your loved one, stop the behavior in its tracks and gets back on the wagon. You can’t expect a lifetime of behavior molding to go away in a day. Change takes time and practice.
You may feel sad and alone. You may feel useless and undeserving of love. You may be afraid of hurt and think you deserve hurt because you’ve had it in the past. Whatever it is, if it is getting in the way and hurting the people you love, it’s time to drop these feelings at the door. Remember to embrace empathy of your loved ones. Put yourself in their place and ask yourself how it would make you feel if your partner had the same behavior towards you as you do towards them. Partners will often perceive being pushed away as rejection and rejection is hurtful. By trying to protect your own feelings of rejection, you may be creating it for someone else. Make yourself stop before your life becomes one self-fulfilled prophecy. Remember, it’s never too late to change, especially when the healing powers of love are around.
Related Articles: 4 Reasons Why You Push Away the People You Love?
©Love Wide Open