There are many possible explanations as to why you push away the people you love, but that doesn’t necessarily make things easier. In fact, in order to change your behavior, you must first change your thinking. In order to do that you need to understand where that thinking is coming from.
When we push away those we love we are almost always doing it unconsciously. The secret to changing your behavior is to understand where it comes from. To do that you must be conscious of the behavior so that it can be studied and traced to a place of pain. That pain then must be dealt with. Here are four very common reasons to help you nail down and deal with this problem that is causing you and the ones you love in your life grief, pain, and hardship.
4 Reasons Why You Push Away The People You Love
Fear/Unaddressed Issues
Pushing away people you love is a sign of mistrust and fear. Perhaps you are afraid of being hurt or abandoned. What traumatic experiences have you had in your life that would contribute to a fear of being hurt by people you love? If your past trauma has created a fear within you that won’t allow you to receive love, then it’s time to face this fear and trauma once and for all. It’s not easy, but we promise it will be worth it.
Depletion
Here’s a scenario that is common to stay at home Moms and Dads. When we give all that we have to a person or people and receive little or none in return, we draw ourselves dry. This is to say that we become so depleted that we are unable to give love even if we wanted to. As a result, we push the people we love the most away. What we do not realize is that when we do this we are not just preventing them from being loved, but we are preventing ourselves from being filled up. We are perpetuating the problem, for our loved ones too, so no one is giving or getting love like they should be. It’s time to break the cycle don’t you think?
Depression
If you struggle with depression then there are a couple of things that could be happening. First off, people don’t like to be around people who are so depressed. Likewise, much of the time people who are depressed also tend to lock themselves away. They don’t feel happy and lashing out at loved ones is not unusual in this circumstance. Depression is a huge barrier between you and those you love. If allowed, it will kill your relationships dead in their tracks. If you struggle with the depression, this must be addressed before you will be able to allow your loved ones near.
Self-Loathing
This reason very well may relate directly to the first three described here. Sometimes we will punish ourselves by hurting the people who love us. Why? Because when they hurt, we hurt. There is this troublesome voice inside that stems from the depression and the trauma that tells us we do not deserve love, so unknowingly we sabotage it. It’s sad, but it’s true. This is a voice that must be dealt with before it destroys all of your meaningful relationships.
Whatever it is, it is imperative that you work out these issues. If you take one thing away with you after reading this, it should be that you do deserve love in your life. Stop pushing it away and open up your heart to the true meaning of your life. We promise you won’t regret it. You will no longer push away the people you love.
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©Love Wide Open
