When you are surrounded by people who view you a certain way it becomes difficult not to see yourself through their eyes. So often we define ourselves through the lens of other people and as a result, we allow them to control our thinking and our emotions. So much of how we feel is determined by the people and circumstances that surround us. When everyone around us is sad all the time, often we are sad as a result. When we argue, we are in bad moods. When we feel insulted or feel that people don’t like us, it tears down our self-worth. We feel like we need to have the approval of others to feel good about ourselves to be happy. But the truth is you are in charge of your own emotions, your life and your attitude towards life. The question is, how do you make the choice to stop letting others dictate how you feel all the time?
How to Live Your Life and Not the Life Dictated By Others
Your life is your life to live:
The first step comes when you realize that your life is not owned by other people. It is a powerful moment when you realize you are not living for other people. Why are you spending so much trying to make others happy or approve of you? Why are you allowing other people to decide for you how you’re going to feel when that is your choice? Once you accept this fact, then you are well on your way to creating a new, happier life for yourself.
You are just as important as they are:
The next step is when you realize that you are not any more or less important than other people. How you feel is just as important as how someone else feels. Selfish people will try to drag you down with them when they are drowning because they do not value your life. Guess what? It’s not their job to value your life, it’s your job. Don’t allow them to pull you down with them. Stay strong and be what you are meant to be. Be happy.
Let them own their feelings and you own yours:
This is tough, especially if you are an empathetic person. It’s important to remind yourself that their feelings should not be your feelings. That does not mean you cannot empathize with them. That does not mean you don’t care. That means that if you lose yourself, you are in no situation to help anyone.
Self-esteem is key:
People with low self-esteem or self-worth will define themselves by others. They allow other people to control how they feel or how they behave. They see themselves through the eyes of others in a negative way. In order to succeed at not allowing others to control how you feel, you must work on your self-esteem. You must be around people that build you up and do the things that make you feel good. Sometimes that means disconnecting from unhealthy friendships, even when you love those people the most. No one should be more important to you than you.
How you feel is your choice and not a matter of circumstance:
How you feel at any given moment is your choice. It is not a matter of circumstance as we often believe it to be. Although we cannot control what happens in the world, we can control how we feel about it.
Today is your day to start feeling your feelings and not allowing others to run your life. Good luck and stay strong.
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