If you are an adoptive parent or stepparent, you might be aware of the fact that love can be just as strong if not stronger than blood. There is a misconception that blood relatives have stronger connections but that is not necessarily true and in many circumstances is not the case at all. This topic is interesting, especially in light of the modern family mindset. Today, many families are blended families. We think that love for our own children is stronger than love for our stepchildren, but in reality, the only thing that keeps us from loving more is our own mindset on the topic.
Take for example a romantic relationship. We can claim to love our partner more than our blood-related family. That’s because we have deemed it a social responsibility to love our romantic partners more. This alone reveals that love is stronger than biology, but not necessarily stronger than mindset.
The secret to offering another being love is to open your own heart space to the possibility of it. People say that you don’t love your stepchildren as much as you love your biological children, even if you don’t have children of your own, they don’t believe it’s a reality. That’s not true at all.
Here are some tips to help you open your heart and mind to love and loving those around you more.
1. Think about how it would be if you were the last person on earth to love that person. Might you love them more? Most likely.
People have a tendency to open their heart space to others when they see they are in need. The problem with being a stepparent is that quite often the need to parent or take care of the child is less pressing because we don’t see that there is a need. After all, they already have parents, so it’s hard to find a place where you fit into their lives. As a result, the love bond suffers. That does not mean that the love bond does not exist, only that it needs to be nourished.
How do you nourish a love bond? You love more.
Love isn’t about you. It’s about love. Your love might be exactly what your stepchild needs the most, yet you will never know unless you offer your love to them. You can love wholeheartedly and that does not mean you are taking love away from the parents, it means you’re putting more out there.
2. Develop the relationship- especially in blended families where the child is not with you 100% of the time. It can be difficult to get one on one time with the child. It’s important to take your stepchildren out on dates and get to know them better doing the things that they enjoy the most.
Make friends with them. Talk to them. Enjoy their company. Learn from them. Give them a safe place. Love them. If you do these things, the relationships will develop. I like to think of the word “stepparent” as stepping into being a parent.
3. Fall in Love- Falling in love is not solely a romantic term. You can fall in love with your friends you can fall in love with your children and you can most definitely fall in love with your stepchildren. This is the process you need to go through in order to love more. It also is an amazing experience that everyone should have in their lives. Loving someone because you were born into a family is one thing, but choosing someone to love and really loving them is true love, strong love, And beyond a shadow of a doubt, it is stronger than blood.
We use stepparenting as an example of how love bonds can be just as strong as blood, but this is true of any relationship whether it be a friendship, adopted family, or romantic partnerships. The important thing is to let go of the relationships that are meaningless and hold tight to those special love bonds that are gifts that should be treasured forever.
Related Article: Four Truths Revealed in Every Romantic Relationship
©Love Wide Open