A recent article published in Psychology Today says, “One of the most destructive human pastimes is playing the blame game.” What exactly is this “blame game” and how is it destructive? The blame game is pointing fingers at others and blaming them for your problems. This is destructive and hurtful to others, but even more so to yourself. If you are unable to take responsibility for your own life, then you’re riding in a car with no driver. When are you going to step up and take the wheel?
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Here is How You Take Responsibility for Your Life
Make the choice to take control of your life.
Here’s a couple of lines that might sound familiar. Consider the food addict that says “I want to lose weight, but my Mom died and eating was the only thing that made me feel better.” Consider the alcoholic that says “ I was going to quit drinking but then I had a divorce and I couldn’t help myself.” The truth is it wasn’t the divorce or the death or anything else beyond that person’s choice to eat or to drink or behave in any way— you fill in the blank.
The point is, it’s time to make your own choices and take control of your own life.
Stop handing your life over to other people.
When we walk out on our responsibilities, when we refuse to accept responsibility for our own lives and our own actions, we are handing the destiny of our life over to others. From one perspective, it’s a way of refusing responsibility for anything and accepting the fact that you failed which enables you not to have to take action. However, when you put your life in the hands of others you rarely achieve your goals, you rarely achieve personal growth, you are accepting the bad things in life and refusing to take the good.
Accept the things you cannot control.
Bad things happen in life. People die, people get divorced, people lose their jobs, etc. These are all things that may be out of our control. That does not mean we blame the way our lives turned out in these circumstances. It means we accept them for what they are because they are out of our control, and instead, we focus on the things we can control. That brings us to our next category:
Control the things you can.
By this we mean, control yourself and how you react to things. You have two choices in this matter, you can react badly and place the blame on others for causing you to act this way. Or, you can react in a loving, accepting manner, control your behavior, and stop putting your destiny in the hands of others.
In the end, we all are accountable for our actions. If somebody has done you wrong, that is something they will have to live with. You are not the judge or the punisher. You are you. Only you have control over you, not everyone else. Bad things happen. People behave insincerely and hurt others. People make mistakes. Including you. Take responsibility for your own mistakes, it’s the first step in changing them. If you do not accept your fault in the matter then you can never grow into a better person. Think about it. When will you step up and live your life?
You may be interested in our other article about how to take responsibility and showing up for yourself.
Articles of Interest: How to Talk to Someone with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)
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