Cultivating Self-Compassion When You Don’t Think You Are Enough or Worth It
“I really hate myself sometimes. I hate every part of myself. The way I look, the way I dress, the way I talk in front of other people.” Sound familiar? Haven’t you been hard on yourself for long enough? Isn’t it about time for you to accept yourself for the amazing wonderful person that you are both inside and out? It’s time for a little self-compassion.
Yogi Bhajan once said: “You are very powerful, provided you know how powerful you are.” When you continually put yourself down you are turning your back on yourself. You are treating yourself the way an abuser would treat a spouse out of fear that the spouse might leave if she knew how powerful she was.
Fear can hold you back or push you forward to something greater
To change your behavior, you must first acknowledge why the behavior is there. You must ask yourself, what is it that you are afraid of? Why would you continue to beat yourself down, hate yourself, and keep yourself from succeeding? Why do you scoff at yourself in the mirror or say you can’t wear that black dress that you always wanted to wear? Why is it that you are afraid to show off, or to be beautiful, to smile all the time? Are you afraid of succeeding? Afraid of how other people will view you? How about afraid of failure or vulnerability?
People will judge you no matter what. When you decide to be yourself, they will judge the AUTHENTIC YOU. And at least they will be seeing the real you and that is SO freeing. So carry on with your awesome self and stop worrying about what other people think.
Vulnerability is a good thing. Any time you put yourself out there for any reason, you are opening yourself up to vulnerability and attack. If you dress nice, people will talk. If you try to succeed at something, people will try to bring you down. Yet, you are also opening yourself up to the good things in the world. The compliments, the good times, the promotion at work. Without the vulnerability, connecting one’s inner self to a successful worldly place is not possible. Don’t fear the vulnerability, embrace it.
Are you afraid of success because you believe you cannot achieve it? Does it really matter if you do? All of life is a journey to a single destination. There is no such thing as failure or success, there are only lessons that create a foundation for the experience. Love yourself for your uniqueness and the unique experiences you bring to the table. The rest will follow.
The purpose of fear is to motivate you into action. As a result, our fight or flight response is triggered and we either move forward or shy away. You are more than your instinct. What you do is your choice. Sometimes it is exactly what we fear that we need to work through.
Envy is our worldly self expressing our desire
The word desire has a bad rep, yet it is part of what makes us human. To be human is to be a unique individual. Most people have a desire to live a perfect life, to be the most beautiful, yet we all have a different idea of what that perfect life is or what it is that we consider beautiful. This happens more now than it ever has before. Why? Because social media has created profiles for people whereby they look their best, show their best, portray an image rather than a life.
Often when your worldly instincts speak up in the form of envy or jealousy, it is simply a direction your higher consciousness is pushing you to. You may interpret this wrongly. Instead of thinking, “I am so ugly I wish I looked like this person or could wear that jacket, why not say, “wow I really admire that style.” Determine what it is that you like about that person and make the changes in your life.
In other words, it’s time to listen to your desires. If you are feeling envious, or like you alone are not enough because someone is better, what’s really happening is that your personhood is asking to be brought to fruition. Instead of being upset about not being a certain way, spend the time allowing yourself to embrace that side of yourself.
Why do this? Because you are worth it. You deserve to be beautiful. You deserve the opportunity to be whatever you want to be and have to make the choice to allow this for yourself. Stop using others to put yourself down and start using others as inspiration to be the person you desire to be.
Compassion is best when you give it to yourself first
When you are awful to yourself, you are pouring out all the positive energy you carry within. This leaves little energy to show love and compassion to the world. When you show yourself compassion, you replenish your energy and love of self and as a result, are better equipped to show the same compassion and love to others.
The problem is, if it has been a long time since you have practiced compassion towards yourself, you might not know where to start or how to accomplish that goal. Do not fret. We all have compassion within us, you just need to accept the fact that you are worth it.
Think of yourself as a small child. Doesn’t that child deserve every opportunity? You are not perfect and that’s what makes you, YOU. Accept your flaws
Love yourself. When you open your heart space to self-love, you are creating a fountain of energy with the potential to spill out into the lives of others. Don’t do it for you, do it for your loved ones. Do it for the countless other people who have yet to learn how to love themselves.
The world needs a little more love. It needs more compassion, acceptance, and sensitivity, don’t you think? If the answer is yes, what better place to start than with the person you are most in control of?
Consider how it would make you feel to know your daughter treats herself the way that you treat yourself? How would that make you feel? Even if you don’t have kids, think about your little sister, your cousin, your niece. What kind of example are you setting for the younger generation about love and acceptance? Be an example to the world.
Open your heart space and remember, YOU are worth it. You are worth it all. You are beautiful!
Related Articles: Self-Awareness: Your Roadmap to Happiness
©Love Wide Open