Toxic People, we all know them. They also go under the name of Energy Vampires, Fun Sponges, Battery Drainers, Debbie Downers or Negative Nellies; please feel free to continue the list. You might have read various articles about them. You know you need to get rid of them, and you tried, hard, but they stick like shit to a hiking boot.
So what can you do? Why are the toxic people still there?
You have not been clear enough
You might have thought you put out all the right signals that the toxic person you wanted to detach from is not bothering you. But they call you, message you, invite you to parties or get-togethers, and you are not clear enough. Do not find excuses for why you cannot go. Instead do not answer at all. If it is an ex-partner, who was toxic tell them that there is no hope in hell that you reconsider. Be honest because it will save you and that person a lot of time.
You are still connected to some toxicity
You detached from the toxic person. But you still have the same group of friends. You meet the toxic people or this particular person again. Sometimes we have to cut out a whole bunch of people to make sure the toxicity is gone. Very often you will find this in relationship breakups, and you had the same circle of friends. I hate to tell you this, but very likely you need to wave goodbye to some of your friends who are toxic too.
You feel guilty
This ties in with the topic of not being clear enough. You are maybe so used to the toxicity, that you feel guilty to cut toxic people out of your life. Instead of cutting them completely out, you keep temporarily contact. You will find that especially when it is family, you might not want to rock the boat, so you do your duty because you are too scared what other people think of you. The thing is you might suffer tremendously, learn how not to feel guilty to put your needs and your peace first.
You are involved in a feud with this person
You are upset and angry. Maybe you have trusted that toxic person before and they hurt you, betrayed you or lied to you. You feel they behave differently in front of others. Narcissists, by the way, are excellent in this. Very often we fight for other people to see how toxic and horrible this person is. You try to get people on your side. All I can say is, drop it, ASAP!!! Do not get engaged in this game. A game like this can go on for years, decades or a whole lifetime. It is the biggest timewaster and a display of hurt egos.
Your true friends will understand and respect you. You do not have to fight for anybody’s permission to move on and tell you that you are the victim or that you are a good person. Let go, block that person, have no contact and do not feed in any negativity they try to spread about you. Work on your self-awareness, you know who you are, and your close and real friends do too.
We all will meet those toxic people in our lifetime, they all teach us one thing in particular. To love yourself enough not to put up with negativity and toxicity.
Related Articles: How to Talk to Someone with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)
Article written by Jennifer White of Strong Heart Awakening. Jennifer White Ad. Dip. Psych. is a global human potential thought leader, blogger, Psychological Therapist with CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) skills, Life Coach and Public and Motivational Speaker. Jennifer White has experience in counseling and coaching people with substance misuse, anxiety and depression. She is currently working as a self-employed Psychological Therapist and Life Coach in her practice, helping people reaching their real potential. Jenny holds public and motivational speeches and shared her ideas with other speakers on the stage of the Celebrate Your Life event in Arizona 2016. She runs successfully her self-development and self-help groups on- and offline.
©Love Wide Open