Self-Commitment Issues: When You Create a Life You Don’t Want

A lot of us go through self-commitment issues without even knowing it. Maybe you woke up one morning and realized that the life you are living is not what you wanted. What happened to your dreams? Is the job you have the one you really wanted, or are you only in it because it pays your bills? Or your relationship totally sucks but you are not breaking up because you do not want to be on your own.

What happened?

Well, life happened to you. Somewhere along the line, we have dreams, and when reality sinks in that the dreams we have need our attention, which means we need to work towards our dreams a lot of us get scared. A high level of self-commitment is required which means not to compromise your dreams and your authenticity for living an average life. The majority of us compromises. For a little bit of happiness, we would take on the job that lets us afford a holiday maybe once a year or a spending spree on things we do not need, handbags, watches, expensive shoes, cars, anything you can think of.

We stay in a relationship we are not meant to be in because you know, at least we have some attention, some love, some security, may I even say some self-worth? So with every single compromise, we do get a little bit of happiness instead of an abundance of happiness.

But do not worry there is a way out.


How can you improve self-commitment?


Raise your self-awareness:

Who are you? What are your dreams and goals in life? If a miracle would happen overnight and you would live a life you truly love and enjoy how would it look like? Write these goals and dreams down. If this is too structured, then start journaling. You would be amazed how helpful journaling is. It helps us reflect on our day plus we can see any changes we have made and can pinpoint out what happened on that day and relate it to how we feel. Another brilliant way is to write a Self-Commitment contract. Yes, promise yourself that you will not betray you or your dreams and will not trade them in for something you are not.

Expand your comfort zone:

When we stay for too long in a routine and not learning anything new we do not grow. Very likely we stagnated and compromised again. Expanding your comfort zone means that you do something new something that draws you closer to your dream, to the life you want to live. You commit to growth. You work on your self-commitment too.

Say goodbye to toxic people:

Self-Commitment issues appear when we let toxicity happen in our life. If you have people in your inner circle that do not reflect a life you want to live and have not the same values as you, it is toxic to your growth. Maybe you have people who do not want you to grow, people who are always complaining and finding reasons not to change or grow or people who take advantage of you. They need to go! Surround yourself with people who reflect your inner values and dreams. Be picky and do not feel guilty about it! Quality over Quantity! Hundreds of fake friends are worth nothing. One true friend is all you need.

Take the leap of faith:

Apply for the job, you always wanted. Ask the person out who you think was out of your league. Move to the city you always wanted to move to. We restrict ourselves far too much. “Better the devil we know than the devil we don’t know.” That is a motto a lot of people still live by. We compromise and settle down for an average life because we do not want to commit to something new. What if we do not like the other job? Or what if the person we asked out is saying NO? What if, What if, What if. Understand that regrets are far worse than failure. If we do not try new things, we will never know. Failure is a part of success. The most successful people in life have failed several times, but we only see their successes.

Overall have fun. Explore something new in life every day. And guess what? It is sooooo worth it.

Related Articles: Self-Awareness: Your Roadmap to Happiness

How to Take Responsibility for Your Life and Show Up for Yourself


Article written by Jennifer White of Strong Heart Awakening.   Jennifer White Ad. Dip. Psych. is a global human potential thought leader, blogger, Psychological Therapist with CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) skills, Life Coach and Public and Motivational Speaker. Jennifer White has experience in counseling and coaching people with substance misuse, anxiety and depression. She is currently working as a self-employed Psychological Therapist and Life Coach in her practice, helping people reaching their real potential.  She holds public and motivational speeches and shared her ideas with other speakers on the stage of the Celebrate Your Life event in Arizona 2016. She runs successfully her self-development and self-help groups on- and offline.

@Love Wide Open

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