We’ve all seen it before, the could-be happy couple if it wasn’t for the one insecure person. The person who questions every move. The person who questions every text message, who believes their partner is more interested in everybody else than they are in them. If it wasn’t for this one fact your relationship would be perfect. Does that sound about right? Sound familiar? Which person are you? If you are the person who is insecure or if you are in a relationship with the person that isn’t secure then continue on, this article is for you.
Insecurity has the power to destroy a relationship within minutes. The reason for this is because these insecurities are rooted in fear. Fear does not nourish love, but rather it will destroy it. It may come with promises of nourishment and security, but in actuality, it is like poison to your relationship.
That said there are times for insecurity and reasons why it can be warranted to a certain extent. In fact, there is a big difference between being insecure and having a gut reaction to something. Before we delve too far into this topic, let’s explore the concept of insecurity versus intuition in relationships just a little bit deeper.
Insecurity Versus Intuition
How to know the difference:
The difference between insecurity and intuition can be tough to detect, especially from a third party observer. Also, notable is the fact that they are in certain instances indistinguishable. Whereas being insecure is a fear-based behavior rooted in a lack of self-worth, intuition in a relationship may come across as insecurity, but the reasoning for such behavior is actually based in reality.
Ask yourself the right questions:
Whether you are the person in the relationship who is misbehaving out of insecurity or intuition or the one who is suffering as a result of your partner’s behavior, here are the questions you must ask in order for both parties to take responsibility for the parts they have played.
If you are experiencing insecurity about your relationship, ask yourself this: has your partner done anything beyond your personal feelings of self-doubt that should cause you to be jealous and insecure? If the answer is no, then you might be destroying your relationship and it’s time to own up and start your journey to a becoming a person you love and respect for you and your partner. If the answer is “yes” you’re still not off the hook quite yet. Only you can be responsible for your own behavior. Perhaps your actions are based in reality and your partner has done things to steer you in a direction of insecurity, but at the end of the day, you must take control of how you respond to each situation.
If you have a partner who is demonstrating insecure behavior and essentially ruining your relationship, it’s time to ask yourself “why?” Are they insecure, lacking confidence, feeling like they’re not good enough? If so, and this is where it’s time to be very honest with yourself, could your behavior now or in the past contribute to this mess?
Most often in relationships, it’s never just one person’s fault. We all play a part. If you love your partner as much as you claim, there is much work that can be done to repair all the damage that takes place from feelings and actions of insecurity. If your partner is suffering from self-esteem issues, do extra work to build them up. Be sensitive. Be patient. Join them on their grueling journey of self-discovery. It may not be fun, but it is what we do for the people we love.
If you are the one acting out, work on you and once you are to a place of self-love and a more confident healthy you, decide who is at fault and then realize it’s up to the other person to change.
There is no black or white here. Relationships are messy. All we can do is the best we can to take responsibility for the part we play and try to change for the better.
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