Do you have an unhealthy relationship? To many, this may seem like a funny question. After all, if you were in an unhealthy relationship, wouldn’t you know it? You might think that would be the case, but in fact, many people who are in unhealthy relationships long-term have created the illusion that everything is good. There are moments, however, where we all question whether or not our relationships are healthy. Relationships and love, in general, go through phases, so how can you tell the difference?
We all have moments of being unhealthy and making bad choices, but that does not necessarily mean you have an unhealthy relationship.
Here are some signs to look for that indicate an unhealthy relationship.
You feel truly negative about your partner
We all feel angry or upset with our partners from time to time; that’s normal. If you take your emotions further than that then there is a real problem with your relationship. If you say to yourself that you do not like the person your partner is, or that you do not want to be around that person anymore, or if even you secretly pray that something will happen, which will prevent you from being together, then that is a sure sign your relationship is on the unhealthy scale.
You are depressed and feel like you’ve lived your entire life already
If you come to the realization that your life is what it is always going to be and you stop looking forward to the future as a result of being with your partner. This is a warning sign that your relationship is no longer a healthy one. When we feel held back by our partners, like we can’t do the things we desire to do in our own lives then that’s a problem. If we feel our spouse is controlling what we do. If we choose them over ourselves or we feel like the life has been sucked out of us completely, that’s an unhealthy relationship.
When your partner puts you down or makes you feel bad about yourself
Here is a big one that occurs in relationships but is often overlooked by the victims. When you feel a lack of confidence or like you are being put down by your spouse in any way, you are most definitely in an unhealthy relationship. An example of this would be if your partner claims you are crazy when you are not. After a while, you may even question your own sanity and whether the things you think might be happening between you are not happening at all. It becomes a confusing mess and all too easy to place blame on oneself.
You can no longer talk to your partner
If you cannot talk to your partner, if you cannot confide in your partner, you cannot express yourself or be expressed to by your partner, then you’re probably in an unhealthy relationship. This one can be a little bit more difficult to detect. Even the healthiest of relationships have times of miscommunication or lack of communication altogether. If, however, you feel you must completely hide away from your partner emotionally, if you go out of your way not to communicate with your partner, then that is a sign your relationship is unhealthy.
You resent your partner
When understanding this sign of an unhealthy relationship, you must learn to detect the difference between resenting your partner and resenting things your partner has done that have upset you. It is one thing to hold on to a feeling of upset and anger as a result of something your partner did to you. It’s another thing altogether to be angry at your partner for no reason. This is to say if you are angry with your partner because they’re in your life or you have extreme negative emotions running towards your partner. If this is the case you are in an unhealthy relationship.
Now What?
There are many signs that you are in an unhealthy relationship. Anytime you have streams of negative emotions running to and from each other, that reveals an unhealthy relationship. No one sets out to hate their relationship or their partner or to watch love slowly turn to bitterness and hate and resentment. We set out in the beginning to love, to make each other feel good, to feel safe, to take care of each other, and share a life worth living. Once we are no longer able to do that, then it’s time to make some serious changes in your relationship or move on from it completely by cutting your losses. It’s a hard choice to make between romantic love and a better life for yourself. But really how difficult of a choice is it when no one can love you like you.
Related Article: How to Break Free From a Narcissistic Person
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